How to....

YooperGuy · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:45 am Post subject:

My springer, Bubba, found them to be highly irritating. (He cornered the forementioned possum in the garage.)
_________________

FSUPS Inspector of Kinky Chocolate Fetishes

OK, so what's the speed of dark?- Steven Wright

Miss Jayme Kat · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:49 am Post subject:

I've seen my cats sit side by side with possums while eating out of the same bowl.

Possums don't taste as good as raccoons, though.
_________________
Proudly NAWAPP!

"I am quoted in a sig!" ~ Miisa
"Totally flat bras is pointless." ~ Raspberry Bullets

YooperGuy · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:37 am Post subject:

I can honestly I have tasted neither............. But I have had muskrat.
_________________

FSUPS Inspector of Kinky Chocolate Fetishes

OK, so what's the speed of dark?- Steven Wright

Tourmaline · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:46 am Post subject:

I believe my rabbit was killed by a possum.
I was out late, and had not got Joey into his hutch for the night yet, when I heard a Rabbit Scream. (About 10 pm)

There had been possums hanging around the back yard.
They never used to come as far north as Ontario, but we've had a few lately.
_________________
Witches motto: We came, we saw, we conjured !

"I reject your Reality and Substitute my own"
Adam Savage

Miss Jayme Kat · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:30 am Post subject:

Tourmaline · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:19 am Post subject:

It seems like an oxymoron to have a Texas Possum in Missouri.

Funnily enough, the reason we KNOW there are possums here is because we find them lying dead along the highway.
_________________
Witches motto: We came, we saw, we conjured !

"I reject your Reality and Substitute my own"
Adam Savage

YooperGuy · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:45 pm Post subject:

20 years ago there were no possums in the UP, now there like rabbits.
_________________

FSUPS Inspector of Kinky Chocolate Fetishes

OK, so what's the speed of dark?- Steven Wright

Smilin · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:48 pm Post subject:

I smushed a possum last night coming back from the Drive-In movie theatre.

Dammmm thing ran out in front of our car...

So...it had to die!

Kye · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:03 pm Post subject:

I'm ashamed to say I came thisclose to telling that awful coffin joke last night... Embarassed

_________________
In the process of effing the ineffable.

It's all good... (except salads)

Tourmaline · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:06 pm Post subject:

What awful coffin Joke is that?
_________________
Witches motto: We came, we saw, we conjured !

"I reject your Reality and Substitute my own"
Adam Savage

Kye · Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:11 pm Post subject:

Ah! It was in the other Smilin thread --A Day in the Life.
_________________
In the process of effing the ineffable.

It's all good... (except salads)

Miss Jayme Kat · Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:42 am Post subject:

There is a 'possum on my back porch. He's cute. He has white hands and feet, so he looks like he's wearing gloves and socks. I want to pick him up and cuddle him. Smile

_________________
Proudly NAWAPP!

"I am quoted in a sig!" ~ Miisa
"Totally flat bras is pointless." ~ Raspberry Bullets

YooperGuy · Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:36 am Post subject:

Wait till he hisses at you and shows you those big teeth
_________________

FSUPS Inspector of Kinky Chocolate Fetishes

OK, so what's the speed of dark?- Steven Wright

Smilin · Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 12:50 pm Post subject:

Smilin · Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:30 pm Post subject:

How to Kiss Breasts
"The Kiss"As the most obvious female secondary sex characteristic, breasts are a very important part of sexual attraction. Learning how to properly kiss and stimulate the breasts is very important for foreplay and may increase the chance of a woman having an orgasm. In fact, a survey of 213 women showed that 29 percent of women have had an orgasm based solely on breast stimulation. Learning how to properly satisfy your woman, including her breasts, can make her think you're a sex god.

Step 1 Start by kissing around the outside of your woman's breasts. Make sure your lips are moist while doing this.

Step 2 Make your way close to each nipple while kissing around the breasts. Exhale over the nipples so the woman feels warmth.

Step 3 Move to the nipples. Use the tip of your tongue to circle her areola. Remember to show each breast attention.

Step 4 Allow your tongue move lightly over her nipples. Look for signs that she is enjoying it. If she moans or jerks suddenly, it means she liked what you were doing. Pay close attention, because you'll want to remember exactly what she enjoys.

Step 5 Straighten out and harden your tongue when you feel her nipples get erect. Flick her nipples back and forth quickly with your hardened tongue. At this point, put one of her nipples completely in your mouth. Suck the nipple and lightly nibble on it at the same time. If her nipples don't get hard right away, you can suck on each one and release it while inhaling closely to her nipple, which will give her an icy sensation and harden the nipple right up.

Step 6 Cup each breast as you are sucking on the nipple. Also, remember to pleasure more than just the nipple. Other parts on the female breast hardly get any stimulation, so there is a good chance these parts will be sensitive. You can kiss or lick in the space under or in-between her breasts.

Step 7 Don't forget one breast just because you're sucking on the other. Leave the nipple wet when you move to the other breast. Now, while you're sucking on one nipple, you can pinch and rub on the other. Make sure not to get too rough when playing with either breast.

Step 8 REMEMBER, all breasts are different. If you are in a committed relationship with a woman, it wouldn't hurt to ask her exactly what she liked when you were playing with her breasts. Or ask if there is anything she likes that you weren't doing. If you are in more of a casual relationship, pay close attention to how she reacts. Some women like rough play, while others don't. Some women enjoy light nibbling, others enjoy biting. Some even enjoy getting hickies on their breasts. Listen closely for any ecstatic, pleasured moans or body movements. If you catch onto what she enjoys, you can pleasure her anytime.

Step 9 Don't get caught up in the same routine. Try different things so you don't ever fall into a rut. Remember that kissing breasts correctly can give a woman a huge head start to orgasm.

Tips & Warnings
Don't assume just because one woman enjoyed a certain breast-kissing technique, that they all will.Don't feel bad if you find it difficult to pleasure a woman's breasts if she has implants. Women can lose up to 90 percent of feeling in their nipples after surgery. You just have to try a little harder and ask exactly what gets her excited.

Smilin · Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:02 pm Post subject:

How to get rid of fruit flys...

http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/odor-removal/how-to-get-rid-of-fruit-flies/

Shake · Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:04 pm Post subject:

Wholly Goats · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:18 am Post subject:

Miss Jayme Kat · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:24 am Post subject:

Good point. If anyone tells me I'll catch more flies with honey, I'll set them straight. Smile

_________________
Proudly NAWAPP!

"I am quoted in a sig!" ~ Miisa
"Totally flat bras is pointless." ~ Raspberry Bullets

Tourmaline · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:52 am Post subject:

Truth is, if you try Balsalmic vinegar, apparently you catch more flies with Vinegar than honey.
_________________
Witches motto: We came, we saw, we conjured !

"I reject your Reality and Substitute my own"
Adam Savage

Miss Jayme Kat · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:06 am Post subject:

I think I caught a bunch last year with apple cider that had dishwashing liquid in it.

EDIT: I meant apple cider vinegar.
_________________
Proudly NAWAPP!

"I am quoted in a sig!" ~ Miisa
"Totally flat bras is pointless." ~ Raspberry Bullets

Tourmaline · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:55 pm Post subject:

Apple cider with dishwashing liquid in it?
What were you trying to do?
_________________
Witches motto: We came, we saw, we conjured !

"I reject your Reality and Substitute my own"
Adam Savage

Smilin · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:02 pm Post subject:

The apple cider will attract the fruit flies..

You put dishwashwing liquid in it to break the surface tension of the liquid.

The fruit flys will land in it and drown as a result.

Smilin · Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:03 pm Post subject:

Another trick is to put a piece of banana in your dishwasher and leave the door open overnight.

In the mornning quickly shut the door and run a quick cycle to kill all the fruit flies.

Shake · Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:17 am Post subject:

	europeforum Forum Index » Goof Off Forum	All times are GMT Goto page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next
Page 2 of 3